Monday, December 13, 2010
Choosing to regard your OWN SELF: as observing either a particle or a wave
STANCE OF OBSERVER OF SELF: Determines whether you see yourself as a particle or wave (hard concept)
SELF AS PARTICLE: childhood concrete cognition
SELF AS WAVE: ABSTRACT THINKING OF ADULTHOOD
SELF AS PARTICLE: childhood concrete cognition
SELF AS WAVE: ABSTRACT THINKING OF ADULTHOOD
CONCEPTS TO BE DIRECTED DURING CHILDHOOD: WORD TO LEARN AND ADD TO YOUR ACTIVE VOCABULARY: Defense Mechanism
TURNING A WORD LEARNED TOWARDS LEARNING OF SELF
DEFENSE MECHANISM is an area of my own study focused upon the topic of SUBSTANCE ABUSE. I held personal awareness that this doctor given the questions shot at me had heard EVERY DEFENSE MECHANISM OR COPING MECHANISM that a human could come up that acts to deny personal adult accountability. (Simple examples: excuses, justification, intellectualizing 'why we did something', blaming someone that 'made us act a certain way or do things')
DEFENSE MECHANISM is an area of my own study focused upon the topic of SUBSTANCE ABUSE. I held personal awareness that this doctor given the questions shot at me had heard EVERY DEFENSE MECHANISM OR COPING MECHANISM that a human could come up that acts to deny personal adult accountability. (Simple examples: excuses, justification, intellectualizing 'why we did something', blaming someone that 'made us act a certain way or do things')
2002 STUDY: ORGANIZING INFORMATION
CAUSE - EFFECT
THE CAUSE OF ME ATTEMPTING TO ADDRESS THE TOPIC OF STRESS AND A LOVED ONE WITH A DIAGNOSES OF SCHIZOPHRENIA ... WHY I WAS NOT TOTALLY-STRESSED OUT GIVEN MY OWN EXPERIENCES AS A PARENT WITH TWO CHILDREN WITH SUCH DIAGNOSES. AND, A CHILD WITH A DIAGNOSES OF SCHIZO-AFFECTIVE. THE DOCTOR IN DENVER SUGGESTED I WRITE A BOOK TO HELP OTHER PARENTS. EFFECT: Gives me something to do with my time, in 2002 time was not a possession I owned.
BACKGROUND INFORMATION:
THE CAUSE OF ME ATTEMPTING TO ADDRESS THE TOPIC OF STRESS AND A LOVED ONE WITH A DIAGNOSES OF SCHIZOPHRENIA ... WHY I WAS NOT TOTALLY-STRESSED OUT GIVEN MY OWN EXPERIENCES AS A PARENT WITH TWO CHILDREN WITH SUCH DIAGNOSES. AND, A CHILD WITH A DIAGNOSES OF SCHIZO-AFFECTIVE. THE DOCTOR IN DENVER SUGGESTED I WRITE A BOOK TO HELP OTHER PARENTS. EFFECT: Gives me something to do with my time, in 2002 time was not a possession I owned.
BACKGROUND INFORMATION:
- Clinical Study focused upon GENETICS and SCHIZOPHRENIA
- Year: 2002
- 8-hour SESSION of NON-STOP FORM questions
- INTERROGATED by a DENVER DOCTOR SPECIALIZING IN SCHIZOPHRENIA
- All questions over an 8-hour time period were pointed only at: ME and my RESPONSES to very specific situations previously prepared for ALL PARENTS.
- SPECIAL would NOT describe what I was feeling during those 8-hours
- EVERY CRIME of my own human behavior, I TRIED VERY HARD TO CONFESS MY OWN PERSONAL SHORTCOMINGS IN MOTHERING during my four children's own childhood for the MOTIVE that I wanted to help this doctor's greater understanding about SCHIZOPHRENIA so they could maybe help others suffering such medical diagnoses
- DEFENSE MECHANISM is an area of my own study focused upon the topic of SUBSTANCE ABUSE. I held personal awareness that this doctor given the questions shot at me had heard EVERY DEFENSE MECHANISM OR COPING MECHANISM that a human could come up that acts to deny personal adult accountability. (Simple examples: excuses, justification, intellectualizing 'why we did something', blaming someone that 'made us act a certain way or do things')
- This doctor could be described as VERY TALENTED at keeping the person he was INTERROGATING on track and wandering off the question was not allowed.
- Responses to each question asked me would find comparison to having three or four lines to write an answer to a question. You would get a chance to write an answer taking a page for example. SHORT and SIMPLE answers.
- This 8-hour session began with the doctor describing what would be taking place. When breaks were taken and the time allotted for the breaks. The atmosphere was what I would term a very formal business atmosphere.
- I personally was given the impression that many other parents were given and would be given the same questions by this doctor and keeping within time limits was very essential. In my own words the doctor attempted to make it very clear this WAS NOT ABOUT ME but many VERY PERSONAL QUESTIONS WOULD BE ASKED ABOUT ME. (NOT WHAT I EXPECTED!) I thought that I would only be asked questions regarding my children with their own diagnoses of schizophrenia. I held no clue should would ask me questions regarding my own childhood with each parent, each grandparent, and my great grand parent. There were questions that I would call marital questions, employment related questions and all very SPECIFIC QUESTIONS.
- I was alerted as to my 'last question' and upon my response, I was given a very formal type closing statement and the words finally 'we're done'.
- I held the expectation that 'we're done' meant what was spoken. Then this doctor started interrogating with non-prepared questions that essentially took me completely off guard. I was actually experiencing compassion for this doctor having to listen to me for 8-hours and try to transcribe what I had said into a meaningful form.
- I was about 52 years old and if I had been a 30 year old, I would have been crying through those 8-hours BEFORE getting to even questions regarding my childhood. At the age of 30 my childhood memories were so buried under fresh painful memories they would have found resembles to chests full of stuff dropped into an ocean. I knew they were there but I did not have the time to go swimming down into the ocean and pull those chests up to the boat so to speak. I totally understand the word BUSY.
- TIME to THINK ABOUT MYSELF is considered by me a GIFT that arrives by what I call The Universe. It is not anything I have intentionally done with forethought. It was in 1984 that I added MIRACULOUS to the word UNIVERSE thanks to Albert Einstein's quote about the two paths a person can chose in life. In 1984, I definitely NOT headed on the path of seeing miracles ALL THE TIME. So I made the conscious decision to use my expression MIRACULOUS UNIVERSE.
CONCEPT: THUMB AS YOUR THINKING FINGER
THUMB AS YOUR THINKING FINGER
My personal memories from a time period of pre-school with a man born in 1875 requires AN ADULT VOCABULARY to actually describe. THUMB AS YOUR OWN THINKING FINGER is the only words I can find to describe this CONCEPT.
I have found out the manner that other adults use the word THINKING will not be mine when "I'm thinking". Little wonder the word COGNITIVE was invented!
I called MY OWN THUMB as what made me different from all kinds of animals that I was learning about in my preschool experiences that began with a special teddy bear as SOMETHING DIFFERENT. As such a little girl I connected MY OWN THUMB to thinking about so many animals as I SUCKED MY THUMB. My THINKING WAS FUN but then I realized that my THUMB was bad. CONFUSION is all I can recall. I understand the PACIFYING EFFECTS OF A MANUFACTURED PACIFIER.
However, in my own personalized history of my own childhood my thumb was seen by me as having an ADULT USE to help me when I got MAD. Only as an adult the words CONCRETE COGNITION entered my own vocabulary to wrap words around this confusion as a small child.
However, if I used this THINKING FINGER PRESSED AGAINST MY INDEX FINGER, I did realize it WORKED to stop me from actually making a fist and hitting my younger brothers when they mad me mad. I HAD TO TAKE TIME to think about a TIGER and how that TIGER could eat me. Sounds so stupid to say as an adult. This TECHNIQUE FOR ANGER that my great grandfather taught me WORKED.
This has left me with a KNOWING that is beyond words that humanity is so SPECIAL. When I encountered the quote by ALBERT EINSTEIN in about 1982
I have found out the manner that other adults use the word THINKING will not be mine when "I'm thinking". Little wonder the word COGNITIVE was invented!
I called MY OWN THUMB as what made me different from all kinds of animals that I was learning about in my preschool experiences that began with a special teddy bear as SOMETHING DIFFERENT. As such a little girl I connected MY OWN THUMB to thinking about so many animals as I SUCKED MY THUMB. My THINKING WAS FUN but then I realized that my THUMB was bad. CONFUSION is all I can recall. I understand the PACIFYING EFFECTS OF A MANUFACTURED PACIFIER.
However, in my own personalized history of my own childhood my thumb was seen by me as having an ADULT USE to help me when I got MAD. Only as an adult the words CONCRETE COGNITION entered my own vocabulary to wrap words around this confusion as a small child.
However, if I used this THINKING FINGER PRESSED AGAINST MY INDEX FINGER, I did realize it WORKED to stop me from actually making a fist and hitting my younger brothers when they mad me mad. I HAD TO TAKE TIME to think about a TIGER and how that TIGER could eat me. Sounds so stupid to say as an adult. This TECHNIQUE FOR ANGER that my great grandfather taught me WORKED.
This has left me with a KNOWING that is beyond words that humanity is so SPECIAL. When I encountered the quote by ALBERT EINSTEIN in about 1982
My first teacher on the word STRESS was a great grandfather born in 1875 - his TEACHINGS through story telling is WHY I'm not DEAD from STRESS
SANTA CLAUS - Just 'another old guy' whose job it is 'to help those poor parents' trying to make money for eveyone to have a place to live and something to eat, they don't have to spend that darn money on presents that they don't have.
TIME OUTSIDE OF TIME - LEARNING TIME as a preschooler
FACE
FACE OF A CLOCK: TIME
I had the unique experience of having TWO ADULTS teach me how to tell time EACH AT TWO DIFFERENT TIMES.
From a maternal grandmother born in 1897 I associate a CLOCK with THE TIME when I stopped playing and had to CONCENTRATE to learned ABOUT my ABC's symbolized only by a DICTIONARY.
PRESCHOOL LEARNING OF THE WORD NUMBERS THAT WERE ALSO ON THE FACE OF A CLOCK AND USED IN SCHOOL - LEARNING THE TWO DIFFERENT WAYS YOU WILL BE USING THEM DARN NUMBERS
*Physics was my favorite subject in High School
From my fraternal grandfather born in 1875 I associate a CLOCK with learning my 123's. Looking back as an adult these SPECIAL TIMES TO LEARN ABOUT THEM DARN NUMBERS was always started with being able to hold his pocket watch on a long chain that he would let me hold. He told me stories about working and getting that watch as a PRESENT after years. He said there was 'no darn way a little kid like me could under what a year was'. (Darn was a word I learned from Gramps that had REAL MEANING as a small child).
While I got to hold this SPECIAL PRESENT BELONG TO GRAMPS he would tell me that we 'had to get serious and do some learning' AND the watch was put back into his pocket and he would then hand me change
such as pennies, nickles and dimes. I associated 123's with MONEY before I entered kindergarten. I learned that the WORDS: ONE TWO THREE, ETC. WAS ASSOCIATED WITH MONEY. He would set a coin and it was like a guessing game but it was told me that this was LEARNING and when we were done LEARNING he would put that money back into his pocket and then I could 'go off and play like a kid, that's what kids are suppose to do.
He would tell me "don't you start worrying about how to use your darn crayons to try to draw those darn numbers, it's hard enough to understand them darn numbers NUMBERS. Those always give kids a problem in school trying to figure them out. He told me to hold my face and make a CONFUSED expression to let me know if I WAS CONFUSED. He would tell me there was no 'darn way' that a big person KNOWS when a little person can't figure something out. That was the way I could TALK TO HIM to let him know if those 'darn numbers weren't making any sense'.
As an adult I can describe this method as learning to associate the sounds of HIS SPEAKING THE WORD ONE, TWO, THREE to be associated with SOMETHING. He would repeatedly tell me 'don't you start worrying about them darn numbers, it's hard'. He told me don't you start worrying about trying to MEMORIZE those darn numbers, you will learn to do that when you get older and go to school. That's what those darn school do, teach you to LEARN about how to USE THOSE NUMBERS.
Gramps used the expression "those fancy numbers that you use if you want to build a house, but I doubt if you will grow up to be house building - those are fancy ways to use numbers". He would talk about it as I got to hold the money. I entered school seeing a difference between the words ARITHMETIC and MATHEMATICS. Took a long time for me to figure that one out. Today I merely say ARITHMETIC is the fine art of money changing and MATHEMATICS is a science. Wish I could have said that at the age of 20!!
It is is no wonder that I entered adulthood FEELING LIKE I WAS STRANGE. And, if I can put blame on anything is the BLASTED FACE OF A CLOCK and the ENGLISH WORD FACE.
FACE OF A CLOCK: TIME
I had the unique experience of having TWO ADULTS teach me how to tell time EACH AT TWO DIFFERENT TIMES.
From a maternal grandmother born in 1897 I associate a CLOCK with THE TIME when I stopped playing and had to CONCENTRATE to learned ABOUT my ABC's symbolized only by a DICTIONARY.
PRESCHOOL LEARNING OF THE WORD NUMBERS THAT WERE ALSO ON THE FACE OF A CLOCK AND USED IN SCHOOL - LEARNING THE TWO DIFFERENT WAYS YOU WILL BE USING THEM DARN NUMBERS
*Physics was my favorite subject in High School
From my fraternal grandfather born in 1875 I associate a CLOCK with learning my 123's. Looking back as an adult these SPECIAL TIMES TO LEARN ABOUT THEM DARN NUMBERS was always started with being able to hold his pocket watch on a long chain that he would let me hold. He told me stories about working and getting that watch as a PRESENT after years. He said there was 'no darn way a little kid like me could under what a year was'. (Darn was a word I learned from Gramps that had REAL MEANING as a small child).
While I got to hold this SPECIAL PRESENT BELONG TO GRAMPS he would tell me that we 'had to get serious and do some learning' AND the watch was put back into his pocket and he would then hand me change
such as pennies, nickles and dimes. I associated 123's with MONEY before I entered kindergarten. I learned that the WORDS: ONE TWO THREE, ETC. WAS ASSOCIATED WITH MONEY. He would set a coin and it was like a guessing game but it was told me that this was LEARNING and when we were done LEARNING he would put that money back into his pocket and then I could 'go off and play like a kid, that's what kids are suppose to do.
He would tell me "don't you start worrying about how to use your darn crayons to try to draw those darn numbers, it's hard enough to understand them darn numbers NUMBERS. Those always give kids a problem in school trying to figure them out. He told me to hold my face and make a CONFUSED expression to let me know if I WAS CONFUSED. He would tell me there was no 'darn way' that a big person KNOWS when a little person can't figure something out. That was the way I could TALK TO HIM to let him know if those 'darn numbers weren't making any sense'.
As an adult I can describe this method as learning to associate the sounds of HIS SPEAKING THE WORD ONE, TWO, THREE to be associated with SOMETHING. He would repeatedly tell me 'don't you start worrying about them darn numbers, it's hard'. He told me don't you start worrying about trying to MEMORIZE those darn numbers, you will learn to do that when you get older and go to school. That's what those darn school do, teach you to LEARN about how to USE THOSE NUMBERS.
Gramps used the expression "those fancy numbers that you use if you want to build a house, but I doubt if you will grow up to be house building - those are fancy ways to use numbers". He would talk about it as I got to hold the money. I entered school seeing a difference between the words ARITHMETIC and MATHEMATICS. Took a long time for me to figure that one out. Today I merely say ARITHMETIC is the fine art of money changing and MATHEMATICS is a science. Wish I could have said that at the age of 20!!
It is is no wonder that I entered adulthood FEELING LIKE I WAS STRANGE. And, if I can put blame on anything is the BLASTED FACE OF A CLOCK and the ENGLISH WORD FACE.
MY PRESCHOOL TEACHERS born in the 1800's that taught me my ABC's and 123's BEFORE kindergarten experiences - BOTH understanding I would be CONFUSED
MY OWN PRE-SCHOOL AGE TEACHERS METHODS OF TEACHING SMALL CHILDREN ARE NOT THE USUAL METHODS THAT I HAVE ENCOUNTERED IN SINCE REACHING ADULTHOOD.
Time outside of Time - Crucial idea in understanding this TEACHING METHOD FOR PRESCHOOL AGE CHILDREN BY ADULTS
I experienced TIMES SET ASIDE AS DIFFERENT THAN NORMAL PLAY by both.
Time outside of Time
My Great Grandfather (born 1874) would have a time he called 'LEARNING ABOUT GOING TO SCHOOL so you will be ready to understand them darn numbers'
IN THE SAME MANNER as my Grandmother (born 1897) would have a special time when she would "show me the meaning of letters of the ABC's that I would SOMEDAY learn so that I could WRITE those letters. There was NO MEMORIZATION OF THE ABC's only the SYMBOL OF A SPECIAL DICTIONARY that she would take put on the table to explain that this was what those ABC's were used for."
2 PRE-SCHOOL TEACHERS born in the 1800's that taught me my ABC's and 123's BEFORE kindergarten experiences - BOTH understanding I would be CONFUSED
1. PRESCHOOL TEACHERS
A. ADULT HUMANS
1. TECHNICAL TERMS
One of the MOST DIFFICULT TASKS as an adult was separating SPECIFIC ADULTS IN MY ENVIRONMENT AT THE AGE OF PRESCHOOL into writing the TECHNICAL TERM that arrives with college age definitions.
1. TECHNICAL TERMS
One of the MOST DIFFICULT TASKS as an adult was separating SPECIFIC ADULTS IN MY ENVIRONMENT AT THE AGE OF PRESCHOOL into writing the TECHNICAL TERM that arrives with college age definitions.
- mother
- father
- grandmother
- grandfather
- great grand father
- sunday school teacher
- friends of parents
ne
Sunday, December 12, 2010
use of touch; skin My first memory of connecting my REMEMBRANCES and when I began
MOST ANCIENT OF MY REMEMBRANCES as a type of hand signal/directed to self:
The very slight tap on the side of face with my index figure would be used by me TO WAKE UP and REMEMBER adults think different than me.
In Kindergarten in 1955, I recall doing this at that age as an almost automatic behavior by this very young age. At that age I just thought 'all kids' did that to remember about the way Adults think different. This was not a negative thing and just like a helping tool.
Today I would call it a type of way to help me not get confused when adults would start talking and I didn't understand what they were saying.
I think it that I experienced so much confusion to young attempting to understand what a maternal grandmother was saying that I developed as a type of result from this mental confusion. I was so young I really do not recall 'motive' it just became automatic.
By doing this tapping it was like saying, WAKE UP LINDA ... AND doing this was also a comfort and a way telling myself 'IT IS ALRIGHT, ADULTS TALK DIFFERENT THAN YOU AND YOU WILL LEARN WHEN YOU GO TO SCHOOL" .. that is just a type of description of what I was thinking at that young age describable as pre-school. SCHOOL meant where I would go and be a smart adult. I had differentiated CHILDREN-ADULT-BABIES.
School teachers were important so I could get smart and I saw it VERY IMPORTANT not to get confused and to listen very closely so I would be a SMART ADULT. As an adult woman, I would say it was my child-made way to keep my attention focused because it was hard to keep my attention from wandering to watch other kids around me or other things that could take my attention from my teacher.
At the time I was learning my abc's and 123's I experienced real confusion. At this age I could not understand spelling that well and the word ONE used in my abc's sounded just like the ONE that my teacher said that I used in my 123's. When the teacher spoke that word it sounded the same but didn't mean the same because I could write a "1" but then I would have to try to spell "one". I do believe I recall this because I made an actual decision to really focus my attention with my tapping to WAKE ME UP. I really made a hard effort to focus concentration. Making these memories more vivid in contrast to drawing, etc.
As such a little girl I thought that this was why ADULTS were smart there were these things I had to figure out. So I began to my REMEMBRANCE tap each time we would change between abc's and 123's. It helped my confusion and made me REMEMBER that ADULTS talk different than children. It made me feel like I was starting to figure things out. I did well in school and looking back it was a real help. But that tapping of REMEMBRANCE for 123's is like a REAL HABIT even to this day. However, I don't focus on too many numbers anymore. It's like when I concentrate with numeric figures it is a different concentration than with reading. I am very much aware of the difference. But words seem to lack this difference ..
The simple word ONE was my first confusion in that time before I knew how to spell the word and only heard that word.
It had become just AUTOMATIC by the time of High School and it is embarrassing to say that I was still using this automatically when I sat down in my Physics class. However, it really did help my understanding of mathematics which I call a science in contrast to arithmetic that as an adult today I call the fine art of money changing.
The very slight tap on the side of face with my index figure would be used by me TO WAKE UP and REMEMBER adults think different than me.
In Kindergarten in 1955, I recall doing this at that age as an almost automatic behavior by this very young age. At that age I just thought 'all kids' did that to remember about the way Adults think different. This was not a negative thing and just like a helping tool.
Today I would call it a type of way to help me not get confused when adults would start talking and I didn't understand what they were saying.
I think it that I experienced so much confusion to young attempting to understand what a maternal grandmother was saying that I developed as a type of result from this mental confusion. I was so young I really do not recall 'motive' it just became automatic.
By doing this tapping it was like saying, WAKE UP LINDA ... AND doing this was also a comfort and a way telling myself 'IT IS ALRIGHT, ADULTS TALK DIFFERENT THAN YOU AND YOU WILL LEARN WHEN YOU GO TO SCHOOL" .. that is just a type of description of what I was thinking at that young age describable as pre-school. SCHOOL meant where I would go and be a smart adult. I had differentiated CHILDREN-ADULT-BABIES.
School teachers were important so I could get smart and I saw it VERY IMPORTANT not to get confused and to listen very closely so I would be a SMART ADULT. As an adult woman, I would say it was my child-made way to keep my attention focused because it was hard to keep my attention from wandering to watch other kids around me or other things that could take my attention from my teacher.
I call this a type of REMEMBRANCE TOOL - this is the earliest one I recall
At the time I was learning my abc's and 123's I experienced real confusion. At this age I could not understand spelling that well and the word ONE used in my abc's sounded just like the ONE that my teacher said that I used in my 123's. When the teacher spoke that word it sounded the same but didn't mean the same because I could write a "1" but then I would have to try to spell "one". I do believe I recall this because I made an actual decision to really focus my attention with my tapping to WAKE ME UP. I really made a hard effort to focus concentration. Making these memories more vivid in contrast to drawing, etc.
As such a little girl I thought that this was why ADULTS were smart there were these things I had to figure out. So I began to my REMEMBRANCE tap each time we would change between abc's and 123's. It helped my confusion and made me REMEMBER that ADULTS talk different than children. It made me feel like I was starting to figure things out. I did well in school and looking back it was a real help. But that tapping of REMEMBRANCE for 123's is like a REAL HABIT even to this day. However, I don't focus on too many numbers anymore. It's like when I concentrate with numeric figures it is a different concentration than with reading. I am very much aware of the difference. But words seem to lack this difference ..
The simple word ONE was my first confusion in that time before I knew how to spell the word and only heard that word.
It had become just AUTOMATIC by the time of High School and it is embarrassing to say that I was still using this automatically when I sat down in my Physics class. However, it really did help my understanding of mathematics which I call a science in contrast to arithmetic that as an adult today I call the fine art of money changing.
MARKING YOUR OWN OBSERVATION POINT IN PLACE AND TIME
SPECIFIC SIMPLE EXAMPLE OF OBSERVATION POINT IN PLACE AND TIME:
I went there - I had to run to my appointment in the afternoon
I went there - I crawled to the car after the bars closed
I went there - I had to run to my appointment in the afternoon
I went there - I crawled to the car after the bars closed
MY OBSERVATIONS FROM STANCE OF: Small child
EXPANSION OF VOCABULARY
MY OBSERVATIONS FROM STANCE OF age of about 3 years old: OF THE word BROTHER
My own two younger brothers - A lot different DOLLIES were delivered from Santa to my Mommie because she went another place to get her gifts from Santa Claus. At this age I had not connected the ideas of PREGNANCY - NEWBORNE the name I gave to the CONCEPT was DOLLY at this age.
... The first brother younger than myself has a birthday of January 5, 1953
...In January of 1953, I was going to celebrate my 3rd birthday on April, 1953
MY OBSERVATIONS FROM STANCE OF age of about 3 years old: OF THE word BROTHER
My own two younger brothers - A lot different DOLLIES were delivered from Santa to my Mommie because she went another place to get her gifts from Santa Claus. At this age I had not connected the ideas of PREGNANCY - NEWBORNE the name I gave to the CONCEPT was DOLLY at this age.
... The first brother younger than myself has a birthday of January 5, 1953
...In January of 1953, I was going to celebrate my 3rd birthday on April, 1953
IN THE BEGINNING: Was HEARD human voices and others heard a PRIMAL scream: The SELF and OTHERS
PRIMAL SCREAM
primal definition:
pri·mal
adj \ˈprī-məl\
Definition of PRIMAL
1
: original, primitive primal innocence — Van Wyck Brooks>
2
: first in importance : primary
PRIMAL + SCREAM
PRIMAL SCREAM
primal definition:
pri·mal
adj \ˈprī-məl\
Definition of PRIMAL
1
: original, primitive primal innocence — Van Wyck Brooks>
2
: first in importance : primary
PRIMAL + SCREAM
PRIMAL SCREAM
Primal therapy is a trauma-based psychotherapy created by Arthur Janov, who argues that neurosis is caused by the repressed pain of childhood trauma. Janov argues that repressed pain can be sequentially brought to conscious awareness and resolved through re-experiencing the incident and fully expressing the resulting pain during therapy. Primal therapy was developed as a means of eliciting the repressed pain; the term "Pain" is capitalized in discussions of primal therapy when referring to any repressed emotional distress and its purported long-lasting psychological effects. Janov criticizes the talking therapies as they deal primarily with the cerebral cortex and higher reasoning areas, and do not access the source of Pain within the more basic parts of the central nervous system.
Primal Therapy is used to re-experience childhood pain--i.e., felt rather than conceptual memories--in an attempt to resolve the pain through complete processing and integration--becoming "real." An intended objective of the therapy is to lessen or eliminate the hold early trauma exerts on adult life.
Primal therapy became very influential during a brief period in the early 1970s, after the publication of Janov's first book, The Primal Scream. It inspired hundreds of spin-off clinics worldwide, and served as an inspiration for many popular cultural icons. John Lennon, actor James Earl Jones and pianist Roger Williams were prominent advocates of Primal Therapy.[1] Primal therapy has since declined in popularity, partly because Janov has not produced the outcomes studies necessary to convince research-oriented psychotherapists of its effectiveness. Janov and others continue to advocate and practice the therapy or various developments of it.
MY OWN BRAIN - THE WORD ONE
MY MEANING OF WORDS WILL NOT BE YOUR MEANING OF SIMPLE WORDS
This picture OF MY OWN BRAIN
is the only way I can describe MY adult MEANING OF THE WORD ONE
This requires a VISUAL definition
I cannot attach words to this and trust me I have tried
this also what the word ONE meant to me BEFORE kindergarten
A VISUAL HAS MEANING TO ME
As a little girl perhaps in Kindergarten I KNEW that I HAD TO SEPARATE THE MEANING of the word ONE that was so easy for me to speak into another MEANING when the teach started talking about numbers. This was my initial point that I can recall from my own memories of a CHOSEN MENTAL ACTIVITY THAT WAS WORK!!!!
This picture OF MY OWN BRAINis the only way I can describe MY adult MEANING OF THE WORD ONE
This requires a VISUAL definition
I cannot attach words to this and trust me I have tried
this also what the word ONE meant to me BEFORE kindergarten
A VISUAL HAS MEANING TO ME
MY ACTIVITY IS TO LITERALLY TOUCH MY HEAD WITH MY right index FINGER TO CHANGE THESE ACTIVITIES AUTOMATICALLY. I learned as a little girl THESE ARE TWO DIFFERENT THINGS COMPLETELY.
MY REMEMBRANCE is an actual physical movement of my arm to my own head and I use my index finger to actually touch my head. I do this automatically when I see LETTERS and NUMBERS. I was maybe in Kindergarten when I started to do this on a daily basis. I then thought EVERY ONE touched their heads to go from NUMBERS 123's TO abc's because they both used the WORD ONE. This was prior to reading and writing in my own life. I was so, so little. I KNEW the English word ONE meant different things, and you touched your head when one was used in reading and one was used in arithmetic.
When I realized that I was the only one that HAD TO TOUCH MY HEAD to know the difference between the activities of reading and doing arithmetic, I FELT SHAME THAT I HAD TO DO IT so I could get a good grade. It seemed to help and I didn't understand WHY.
MY REMEMBRANCE is an actual physical movement of my arm to my own head and I use my index finger to actually touch my head. I do this automatically when I see LETTERS and NUMBERS. I was maybe in Kindergarten when I started to do this on a daily basis. I then thought EVERY ONE touched their heads to go from NUMBERS 123's TO abc's because they both used the WORD ONE. This was prior to reading and writing in my own life. I was so, so little. I KNEW the English word ONE meant different things, and you touched your head when one was used in reading and one was used in arithmetic.
When I realized that I was the only one that HAD TO TOUCH MY HEAD to know the difference between the activities of reading and doing arithmetic, I FELT SHAME THAT I HAD TO DO IT so I could get a good grade. It seemed to help and I didn't understand WHY.
The English word THAT CAN BE WRITTEN OR SPOKEN:
ONE is a word used both in WRITING and in MATHEMATICS.
ONE is a word used both in WRITING and in MATHEMATICS.
As a little girl perhaps in Kindergarten I KNEW that I HAD TO SEPARATE THE MEANING of the word ONE that was so easy for me to speak into another MEANING when the teach started talking about numbers. This was my initial point that I can recall from my own memories of a CHOSEN MENTAL ACTIVITY THAT WAS WORK!!!!
- SPEAKING
- ABC'S
- 123's
REMEMBRANCE ATTACHED TO BODY: ACTIVITY OF "TO REMEMBER"
DIFFERENCES OF MALE AND FEMALE BRAIN
REMEMBRANCE ATTACHED TO BODY: ACTIVITY OF TO REMEMBER
THIS IS LEARNED AT THE STAGE A MOTHER
KNOWS WHAT HER BABY IS SAYING BY TONE OF VOICE
It was only after the age of 41 in the year of 1941, that I AWOKE TO THIS INNATE ABILITY that my little brothers taught me by my watching their non-spoken behavior between each other prior to their own motor skills to coordinate their mouths to EVEN SPEAK.
THE WORD SURVIVAL WAS THE KEY WORD I NEEDED DISCOVER TO UNLOCK A TYPE OF KEY FOR SELF UNDERSTANDING
POINTING my right index FINGER TO my HEAD
IS MY OWN VERBAL ACTIVITY 'to remember' like telling myself this is VERY IMPORTANT FOR SURVIVAL TO REMEMBER
versus memorization
REMEMBRANCE ATTACHED TO BODY: ACTIVITY OF TO REMEMBER
This ability that my little brothers communicating with ONLY EACH OTHER taught ME.
THIS WAS THE HARDEST TO SORT OUT IN MY OWN MIND,
I THOUGHT EVERYONE DID THIS.
I THOUGHT EVERYONE DID THIS.
THIS IS LEARNED AT THE STAGE A MOTHER
KNOWS WHAT HER BABY IS SAYING BY TONE OF VOICE
It was only after the age of 41 in the year of 1941, that I AWOKE TO THIS INNATE ABILITY that my little brothers taught me by my watching their non-spoken behavior between each other prior to their own motor skills to coordinate their mouths to EVEN SPEAK.
THE WORD SURVIVAL WAS THE KEY WORD I NEEDED DISCOVER TO UNLOCK A TYPE OF KEY FOR SELF UNDERSTANDING
POINTING my right index FINGER TO my HEAD
IS MY OWN VERBAL ACTIVITY 'to remember' like telling myself this is VERY IMPORTANT FOR SURVIVAL TO REMEMBER
versus memorization
SPEAKING:: I think different than you do IS A TRUTH - INNATE TRUTH
INNATE
Small children DO NO KNOW HOW to lie.
Small children DO NO KNOW HOW to lie.
The IDEAL world in connection with the word IDEA: FALSE EXPECTATION
This is what discovered after VERY HARD personal work to be one of the MOST DIFFICULT to separate. The only way personal that I can separate this is by my own personally SPOKEN WORDS: Return yourself back to those time when you were maybe waiting to enter Kindergarten and you OWN idea of HOLDING something.
I HELD FALSE EXPECTATIONS
YOU ARE THE KNOWER
TO ME, I HAVE ALWAYS VIEWED THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE AS A FOREIGN LANGUAGE THAT I HAD TO LEARN AND IT ONLY CONFUSES OTHERS. AT THE AGE OF 60, I UNDERSTAND MY HATRED OF THIS LANGUAGE SYSTEM CARRIED TO THIS CONTINENT SO LONG AGO IN AMERICAN HISTORY. YOU DO NOT BLAME PEOPLE, YOU BLAME THE TOOL THEY USE TO COMMUNICATE.
THERE IS SEVERE NEED FOR A VOCABULARY THAT IS A TOOL TO COMMUNICATE, RATHER THAN A TOOL FOR A SYSTEM OF WRITTEN LAWS.
I had two brothers that had developed their own language system with motion and sound attaching their own sounds prior to their own language development. As their older sister, I learned and could communicate with my younger brothers and remembered.
NO ONE realized that I too could speak what they called TWINERISM requiring only several months of speech therapy. My brothers forgot their language, but their older sister could still speak it, but no one to speak it with. I was 3 and 4 years older than my younger brothers and at a different stage of language development. I falsely assumed as a little girl EVERYONE knew this language it was so easy and then was told it was a bad thing to do and that it had hurt my little brothers. Carrying secrets come in all forms. This secret stayed hidden under so many painfilled memories of adulthood.
My own way of viewing the world around is the way my younger brothers taught me and the vocabulary spoken and written is only a tool that you can chose to practice. I had carried real anger and pain from childhood hearing adults that were significant in my life such as an Elementary school principle and teachers laugh about my younger brothers. Their laughter was also laughing at me, because I should have been included. Adult's ignorance and lack of knowledge can injure little ones and I am a person that has to vocabulary to speak of those wounds. I can use a tool, and the written and spoken LANGUAGE is a tool.
At the age of 23 years old in 1973 having on a 2-year Associate Degree in Fashion, I obtained a job that I have frequently termed a once noble profession that was taken over by Title Insurance. To become a Registered and Bonded Abstracter of Real Property in 1973 it was a requirement to take a 2-day state exam. The first day covered the contents of a Law School Property Conveyancing books related to only real property and not personal property. My husband at the time took such a class in Law School and his test on this subject matter was not 8 hours as was mine.
The second day was the actual abstracting of all the legal documents that would pertain to a specifically describe tract of real estate. Real property is term that relates to just the ground you are standing on where as personal property will be structures for example. Real estate is a term I would see used to determine VALUE.
I have skills of an Abstracter and those skills are rare. In the 70's you had to train under another person to do the actual abstracting of the legal papers. An Abstract of Title was frequently folded similar to map with a rubber band. Your Abstract would kept in a bank vault or other safe place. I would charge for each entry such as deeds, mortgage, assignments, releases, etc., and also per page of court documents such as divorces, estates, foreclosures. A tax entry would be made at the time of I certified title with my signature. Bond was required if I would have missed a document, I then held financial accountability. The Abstract would subsequently be read by an attorney for his rendering of a Title Opinion. My customers were real estate agents, bankers, and private individuals buying and selling real estate.
I took this 2-day Nebraska state exam in 1973 without knowing I was pregnant with my first baby subsequently born in January of 1994. Shortly after his birth, my husband and I moved to our small rural hometown where my husband started his own solo law practice. At this time of our lives his mother was the elected Register of Deeds of the county. When I went to the county courthouse I would always enjoy my children's grandma and watching her show all her many, many pictures of her grandchildren. My son was born in 1973, my oldest daughter in 1974, my middle daughter in 1978 and my youngest daughter in 1979.
Due to the old pain yet to be even seen by my adult eyes. Childhood memories become sometimes so irrelevant when you are busy as an adult. I was so busy. The home my husband and I purchased had an office annexed that I used to open my own Abstracting Company. It worked so good because my business was not heavy. There were two other Abstracting companies in this small town at that time. It worked so good to only be away from my children for several hours in the afternoon to go to the courthouse to research title records in the various offices. I grew up in this town and knew people and finding a babysitter for several hours to come into my home gave me a chance to get out and be able to also pick up groceries, etc.
Abstracting also required my abilities to draw maps of the specifically described real estate description for inclusion in the Abstract of Title. Also my Abstracts required a special entry as to my certifying that all was correct. Today I can see that this was IDEAL job for me to make money.
ORIENTATION IN TIME AND PLACE is part of this unspoken language my brothers taught me. Likewise the map making skills I could manifest were part of this very easy but so hard to explain manner of communicating one to another. COMMUNICATION is an English word that I intend to address in this writing.
In
IT WAS ONLY REMEMBERING WHAT MEANINGS I HAD PUT ON MY 10 FINGERS THAT SAVED MY LIFE FROM ATTEMPTED SUICIDE IN 1991. IF MY BROTHERS HAD NOT TAUGHT THEIR SISTER, SHE WOULD HAVE BEEN DEAD AT THE AGE OF 41.
THE ONLY WAY I CAN DESCRIBE WHAT WAS ON MY FINGERS WAS AN EXPRESSION FROM ONE OF MY OWN FOUR CHILDREN'S BOOKS WHEN THEY WERE SMALL THAT I READ TO EACH IN THEIR OWN TIME. IT IS FROM DOCTOR SUESSS AND THE CAT IN THE HAT.
THERE IS SEVERE NEED FOR A VOCABULARY THAT IS A TOOL TO COMMUNICATE, RATHER THAN A TOOL FOR A SYSTEM OF WRITTEN LAWS.
I had two brothers that had developed their own language system with motion and sound attaching their own sounds prior to their own language development. As their older sister, I learned and could communicate with my younger brothers and remembered.
NO ONE realized that I too could speak what they called TWINERISM requiring only several months of speech therapy. My brothers forgot their language, but their older sister could still speak it, but no one to speak it with. I was 3 and 4 years older than my younger brothers and at a different stage of language development. I falsely assumed as a little girl EVERYONE knew this language it was so easy and then was told it was a bad thing to do and that it had hurt my little brothers. Carrying secrets come in all forms. This secret stayed hidden under so many painfilled memories of adulthood.
My own way of viewing the world around is the way my younger brothers taught me and the vocabulary spoken and written is only a tool that you can chose to practice. I had carried real anger and pain from childhood hearing adults that were significant in my life such as an Elementary school principle and teachers laugh about my younger brothers. Their laughter was also laughing at me, because I should have been included. Adult's ignorance and lack of knowledge can injure little ones and I am a person that has to vocabulary to speak of those wounds. I can use a tool, and the written and spoken LANGUAGE is a tool.
At the age of 23 years old in 1973 having on a 2-year Associate Degree in Fashion, I obtained a job that I have frequently termed a once noble profession that was taken over by Title Insurance. To become a Registered and Bonded Abstracter of Real Property in 1973 it was a requirement to take a 2-day state exam. The first day covered the contents of a Law School Property Conveyancing books related to only real property and not personal property. My husband at the time took such a class in Law School and his test on this subject matter was not 8 hours as was mine.
The second day was the actual abstracting of all the legal documents that would pertain to a specifically describe tract of real estate. Real property is term that relates to just the ground you are standing on where as personal property will be structures for example. Real estate is a term I would see used to determine VALUE.
I have skills of an Abstracter and those skills are rare. In the 70's you had to train under another person to do the actual abstracting of the legal papers. An Abstract of Title was frequently folded similar to map with a rubber band. Your Abstract would kept in a bank vault or other safe place. I would charge for each entry such as deeds, mortgage, assignments, releases, etc., and also per page of court documents such as divorces, estates, foreclosures. A tax entry would be made at the time of I certified title with my signature. Bond was required if I would have missed a document, I then held financial accountability. The Abstract would subsequently be read by an attorney for his rendering of a Title Opinion. My customers were real estate agents, bankers, and private individuals buying and selling real estate.
I took this 2-day Nebraska state exam in 1973 without knowing I was pregnant with my first baby subsequently born in January of 1994. Shortly after his birth, my husband and I moved to our small rural hometown where my husband started his own solo law practice. At this time of our lives his mother was the elected Register of Deeds of the county. When I went to the county courthouse I would always enjoy my children's grandma and watching her show all her many, many pictures of her grandchildren. My son was born in 1973, my oldest daughter in 1974, my middle daughter in 1978 and my youngest daughter in 1979.
Due to the old pain yet to be even seen by my adult eyes. Childhood memories become sometimes so irrelevant when you are busy as an adult. I was so busy. The home my husband and I purchased had an office annexed that I used to open my own Abstracting Company. It worked so good because my business was not heavy. There were two other Abstracting companies in this small town at that time. It worked so good to only be away from my children for several hours in the afternoon to go to the courthouse to research title records in the various offices. I grew up in this town and knew people and finding a babysitter for several hours to come into my home gave me a chance to get out and be able to also pick up groceries, etc.
Abstracting also required my abilities to draw maps of the specifically described real estate description for inclusion in the Abstract of Title. Also my Abstracts required a special entry as to my certifying that all was correct. Today I can see that this was IDEAL job for me to make money.
ORIENTATION IN TIME AND PLACE is part of this unspoken language my brothers taught me. Likewise the map making skills I could manifest were part of this very easy but so hard to explain manner of communicating one to another. COMMUNICATION is an English word that I intend to address in this writing.
In
IT WAS ONLY REMEMBERING WHAT MEANINGS I HAD PUT ON MY 10 FINGERS THAT SAVED MY LIFE FROM ATTEMPTED SUICIDE IN 1991. IF MY BROTHERS HAD NOT TAUGHT THEIR SISTER, SHE WOULD HAVE BEEN DEAD AT THE AGE OF 41.
THE ONLY WAY I CAN DESCRIBE WHAT WAS ON MY FINGERS WAS AN EXPRESSION FROM ONE OF MY OWN FOUR CHILDREN'S BOOKS WHEN THEY WERE SMALL THAT I READ TO EACH IN THEIR OWN TIME. IT IS FROM DOCTOR SUESSS AND THE CAT IN THE HAT.
I AM WHAT I AM SAYS THE CAT FROM SIAM
WHEN I SPEAK THAT WITH MY FINGERS IT IS SPEAKING TO MYSELF, A REMEMBRANCE. A REMBRANCE THAT I HAD ATTACHED WHEN MY BABIES WERE SO SMALL. IT CALLS ME BACK TO HOLDING MY LITTLE BABIES. AND I CRY. BABIES ARE SMALL SUCH A SHORT TIME.
YOU DON'T NEED YOUR MEMORY FOR REMEMBRANCE, MEMORY IS A TOOL AS ARE THE SPOKEN AND WRITTEN LANGUAGES.
A DOCTOR IN DENVER IN 2002 SAID I SHOULD WRITE A BOOK TO SHARE. IT IS SO, SO DIFFICULT WHEN OTHERS DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHAT I MEAN WHEN I SPEAK MEANING.
YOU DON'T NEED YOUR MEMORY FOR REMEMBRANCE, MEMORY IS A TOOL AS ARE THE SPOKEN AND WRITTEN LANGUAGES.
A DOCTOR IN DENVER IN 2002 SAID I SHOULD WRITE A BOOK TO SHARE. IT IS SO, SO DIFFICULT WHEN OTHERS DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHAT I MEAN WHEN I SPEAK MEANING.
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